Scubamonica

The problem

For many years society has puzzled over the knife wielding hoody wearing youths & what to do about these menacing hoodlums wondering our city streets. But little thought has been given to the hoodies of the sea. The rubber wearing underwater miscreant, on his O2 high. The scuba diver!

Scuba divers have been hanging around on reef corners, poking brightly coloured fish & vandalising coral for as many years as teenage tearaways has been stealing old women. But nothing has been done to address this newly invented problem.

Until now…

Research suggests these marauding gangs of divers cover the coral in graffiti and intimidate elderly fish for one reason…like the menacing teenager hanging around outside shops. Happily talking to friends in that innocent way that makes society nervous, it all boils down to…. Boredom

The solution

After hearing the quote 'Music soothes the savage beast(#1)'. Stupid ideas’ Fox (head of R’n’D department) proposed the Scubamonica(TM) …….
“ Its basically a harmonica on a flimsy mount that is attached to the mouth piece on scuba diving gear! As you swim, it will randomly move from side so side and as you breath out, it will play random noise”

Testing

The testing stage involved fitting newly captured thugs with MP3 players. And early observations produced promising result.
The control batches of Thugs were found to be destructive & mischievous at a consistent rate. An unlocked and running car was put within view & as expected was soon found Stripped and burnt out on a nearby council estate!
The MP3 batch were found to be mesmerized by sound and would sit with vacant eyes ignoring external stimuli. The running unlocked car stayed untouched(#2)
These promising results got the Scubamonica(TM) approved and the MK1 was put into production.

Where is it now?

Unfortunately plagued with quality issues (due to company production methods) and doubts on the validity of test result. Sales plummeted and after the totally unsuccessful a great time for you and your diving buddies! Advertising campaign(#3) the MK1 was shelved…..
Pending further development


#1)...A misquote… but don’t tell Fox!
#2) Until a passing gang of wild thugs spotted it… then it is believed to have suffered the same fate. But as it has never been found this is undetermined!?
#3) After this all future advertising was handed over to SSBs Aggressive Marketing And Unusual Punishment Department