Frozen In Time

This morning I found a ancient chicken wing that bares a remarkable resemblance to Otzi the Iceman preserved in my fridges ice compartment..

Being naturally curious (!?!) I wanted to know if the chicken wing could be defrosted and brought back to life?

My first thought was to extract some DNA and clone the wing.

If all went well. I could clone other frozen produce(#1). Then set up Glaciallic Park!! But thoughts of things going wrong, having to escape from a fierce rampaging pasty and Jeff Goldblum spouting chaos theory at me before smugly saying “I told you so” put me off..

Instead I decided…

If the chicken wing was edible?! It would mean said wing had been perfectly preserved, suspended in a cryogenic state! & I would have discovered a home cryonics process (DIYonics(#2)!)

So….

Like all good mad scientists. I zapped the wing with electricity. Although, unlike Dr Stein’ traditional method of putting it on a slab, connecting it to lightning rods then having to wait months for a good storm(#3). I got Igor to, put it in the microwave and waited for the ping!

One ping later…….

I used the traditional mad scientist test on yourself method….

And.. And… and…

It Tasted …… Exactly like Chicken(#4)!!

Do It Yourself Cryonics is born


#1) I found a fossilised beef pie & some primordial green sludge (believed to have once been mushy peas)
#2) a process that could be used to preserve my body pending the Depatment of Elixirs Aging and Total Health discovering a cure for dying without having to pay someone else.. Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!
#3) no wonder there mad! I’d be bloody furious!!
#4) strangely… any unknown food substance always does.. Scientists examining Otzi. carried out the same experiment: he too tasted of chicken!