Company Profile


SSB Enterprises was set up in December 2007 to showcase all the things that keep its proprietor amused. As he’s easily amused it has come to encompass anything from stupid things that have happened, he’s read about or anything he has a vague interest in.
In March 2008 SSB Enterprises acquired Blatantly Stupid Ideas in a hostile takeover. The new Blatantly Stupid division covers odd ideas, mad ramblings & anything that will probably never see the light of day

Thursday 13 November 2008

Happy Birthday Me!?

Today Is My Birthday...

And as surprised as I was, I found..

I hadn't gone bald and grey overnight! I neither suddenly need to use a Zimmer frame or miraculously found my trousers reached my nipples!!

.. I still had to survey the damage suffered, (by 40 years of debauchery) in the bathroom mirror..

And let me tell you.. It wasn't a pretty sight first thing..

This got me thinking.....
  1. I'm 40!! Eeeek!
  2. I'm not immortal
  3. S**t 40!
  4. I don't wanna get old!!
  5. 40!
  6. That Dorian bloke, who sold me the portrait I have stashed in my attic.... BLOODY CONNED ME!!
  7. Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

& when I stopped hyperventilating.. I made a decision......

I'm not gunna take it! Old is for... Errrrr! Old People!!??

so, I've instructed clever white coated boffins at SSB Enterprises to look into Life Extensions and Elixirs of Youth. I then set up the Department of Elixirs, Age & Total Health who quickly sloped of to consult the Oracles, the fonts of all wisdom that are drunken Irish builders(#1) at the local pub..

Many bevies later and slurring. They promptly (A-Hum) returned & announced the news "O'Malley recons He can do you an extension........."

".....BUT...... He can't start till after new year!(#2)"

Damn!! Research Continues........

#1) They know everything! (well.. so they claim, in very loud obnoxious voices)

#2) No mention of what year was made! although, strangely.. I now have a newly tarmacked drive and cant seam to find the lead roof?!?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday you oldish thing here is a gem to make u feel better, you have only 10 years before your fifty so that means you can act an idiot until then (peeps understand, just say im in my 40s)it wil be the best ten years of your life